Friday, June 13, 2014

The Day Before you Came - Sunday June 1st 2014

Seth Reed Miller

No one can ever describe the love that you feel when your first child is born. I can barely describe how I felt when Garrett was born because it was such an overwhelming experience there was nothing like it that I have ever felt before.

Tomorrow I'm giving birth to our second child, Seth Reed Miller. And I'm terrified! The love and affection that I felt for Garrett when he was born, even though we didn't have the sudden bond that I thought we would, however it did come later when he became a little older and when I started to actually heal from surgery, I still felt so many different emotions that I feel like I'll never be able to feel again. I'm scared that when they hand me Seth, that I won't feel the same way than I did when I first held Garrett for the first time. How can you feel those feelings all over again? How can they be the same kind of love and affection that I felt almost 2 years ago?

I'm also terrified on how Garrett is going to react when we bring Seth home with us. I know for the first few days he'll be fine and he'll just try to kiss him and call him baby. But how is he gonna feel when he realizes that Seth is ours too and that he's gonna have to share his mommy and daddy? What is that gonna d to my baby? How is he gonna feel when he's not the center of my world anymore and that he has to share that position? What if he's mean to Seth and hurts him when I have my head turned for just a moment? Its just a very scary situation and the reality of it is hitting very fast!


But I'm also feeling so excited! I know I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. All I'm gonna want to do is watch the clock and make it go faster. We can't wait to meet you tomorrow little guy!

No comments:

Post a Comment