Seth Reed Miller
No one can ever describe the love that
you feel when your first child is born. I can barely describe how I
felt when Garrett was born because it was such an overwhelming
experience there was nothing like it that I have ever felt before.
Tomorrow I'm giving birth to our second
child, Seth Reed Miller. And I'm terrified! The love and affection
that I felt for Garrett when he was born, even though we didn't have
the sudden bond that I thought we would, however it did come later
when he became a little older and when I started to actually heal
from surgery, I still felt so many different emotions that I feel
like I'll never be able to feel again. I'm scared that when they hand
me Seth, that I won't feel the same way than I did when I first held
Garrett for the first time. How can you feel those feelings all over
again? How can they be the same kind of love and affection that I
felt almost 2 years ago?
I'm also terrified on how Garrett is
going to react when we bring Seth home with us. I know for the first
few days he'll be fine and he'll just try to kiss him and call him
baby. But how is he gonna feel when he realizes that Seth is ours too
and that he's gonna have to share his mommy and daddy? What is that
gonna d to my baby? How is he gonna feel when he's not the center of
my world anymore and that he has to share that position? What if he's
mean to Seth and hurts him when I have my head turned for just a
moment? Its just a very scary situation and the reality of it is
hitting very fast!
But I'm also feeling so excited! I know
I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. All I'm gonna want to do
is watch the clock and make it go faster. We can't wait to meet you
tomorrow little guy!
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